Happy Halloween.
And good-bye Breast Cancer Awareness month. Enough, already.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Hard to Think
I'm finding it hard to focus the past few days... I am distracted, sullen . . . I am anxious about surgery on November 8th. I question whether it is "worth it" for an entirely cosmetic procedure. Yet, I remind myself, I have to live in this body for (presumably) a long long time..... I might as well make it as normal as possible.
I had taken a break from my cancer support message board.... having made many virtual friends there. It is so easy to connect with another human being - even through email - when you are both going through the same crisis at the same moment. These women are as real to me as if I met them in the basement of a church once a week... instead of online 24 hours a day. But I took a break when I came back to work, because it was easier to work and get caught up in my own life than to read their stories day after day. Some are still in chemo, some going through radiation, some just found out about mets (metastatic, meaning it has spread). Others arrive on the board - almost daily - having just been diagnosed. It is hard to watch, sometimes.
This week we learned of the passing of one of these sisters. Melinda. I didn't know her - had never spoken to her. But she obviously made a big impression on the other women there. Diagnosed in 2005, she was an oncologist. She thought she was "past cancer" when mets showed up in May of this year. She died this week - five months later. She was 35.
There are no guarantees, people. Get out there and live your lives before that bus runs you over.
I had taken a break from my cancer support message board.... having made many virtual friends there. It is so easy to connect with another human being - even through email - when you are both going through the same crisis at the same moment. These women are as real to me as if I met them in the basement of a church once a week... instead of online 24 hours a day. But I took a break when I came back to work, because it was easier to work and get caught up in my own life than to read their stories day after day. Some are still in chemo, some going through radiation, some just found out about mets (metastatic, meaning it has spread). Others arrive on the board - almost daily - having just been diagnosed. It is hard to watch, sometimes.
This week we learned of the passing of one of these sisters. Melinda. I didn't know her - had never spoken to her. But she obviously made a big impression on the other women there. Diagnosed in 2005, she was an oncologist. She thought she was "past cancer" when mets showed up in May of this year. She died this week - five months later. She was 35.
There are no guarantees, people. Get out there and live your lives before that bus runs you over.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Time Flies
Hello All.
I know, I know. I promised pictures. Do you know how long it takes to download pics to Blogger?
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I continue to do well, and get stronger each day. I had my first post-chemo cold, and I kicked it in about a week, so I think my immune system is no worse for wear.
I also had my first "haircut." I went to see Stan and he snipped a few long pieces here and there, cleaned up the back a little, put a few highlights in the front, and sent me on my way...... refusing payment. Stan has been cutting my hair since Nathan was about 2 months old. I remember going to see him the first time.... in all my post-partum flab with leaking breasts and bad hair...Nathan asleep in a car seat... and he spruced me up and made me feel human again. Now, nearly seven years later, he did it again. Back then, Stan had two chairs in the basement of the Valley Hotel. He later moved into a beautiful new shop with about seven chairs... and this past year he moved into his own two-story building, a complete Spa with about 15 chairs, and full spa services. I'm pleased to see he's doing so well. If you need spa services in Palmer, please consider Country Cutts. Tell Stan I sent you. :)
I know, I know. I promised pictures. Do you know how long it takes to download pics to Blogger?
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I continue to do well, and get stronger each day. I had my first post-chemo cold, and I kicked it in about a week, so I think my immune system is no worse for wear.
I also had my first "haircut." I went to see Stan and he snipped a few long pieces here and there, cleaned up the back a little, put a few highlights in the front, and sent me on my way...... refusing payment. Stan has been cutting my hair since Nathan was about 2 months old. I remember going to see him the first time.... in all my post-partum flab with leaking breasts and bad hair...Nathan asleep in a car seat... and he spruced me up and made me feel human again. Now, nearly seven years later, he did it again. Back then, Stan had two chairs in the basement of the Valley Hotel. He later moved into a beautiful new shop with about seven chairs... and this past year he moved into his own two-story building, a complete Spa with about 15 chairs, and full spa services. I'm pleased to see he's doing so well. If you need spa services in Palmer, please consider Country Cutts. Tell Stan I sent you. :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Great News
No surprises at the oncologist. My bloodwork was perfect. No abnormal bloodwork and no weird symptoms means...... no sign of cancer. I'm continuing to get along well with Tamoxifen. . . which is good, since I'll be taking it for 5 years - longer than I've ever held the same job. :)
I also survived my first separation from Anika. Todd took her to Minneapolis for his cousin's wedding, and Nathan and I stayed home. We all weathered the trip well. Pictures soon.
I also survived my first separation from Anika. Todd took her to Minneapolis for his cousin's wedding, and Nathan and I stayed home. We all weathered the trip well. Pictures soon.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!
Well, it's my 37th birthday, so it seems like a good day to update y'all on how I'm doing. This is the "Ruth Update" after all....
In case none of you noticed, I went the entire month of September with nary a doctor appointment! That was the first month since last November (maybe longer) that I haven't had to go to a doctor (or several). The fun is over, though, as I head to the oncologist next Wednesday for my 3 month check-up. I will be monitored closely (every three months, more often if I have any weird symptoms) for at least a few years. If I had anything to mammogram, I'd have to go in for that every six months, so I say good riddance. It's hard to believe it's been three months since my last chemo. Fifteen weeks, to be exact.
I still miss my hair, although people are LOVING my super-short do I have right now. I can't imagine I'll ever have it long again.... but it's hard to say. I'll enjoy experimenting with some short cuts once I have enough to actually cut...If we ever get some decent pics I'll post one. All the photos of me from the party were AWFUL.
I'm off most of the drugs I've been taking. I no longer rely on Ambien to sleep, Ativan (prescribed as a muscle relaxant, but also great for anxiety and sleep), or Tylenol PM (my favorite fall-back). I am going to sleep at night sans drugs, and it feels great. So for now I am on the anti-cancer drug Tamoxifen, Effexor (to ward off hot flashes caused by Tamoxifen - and it's also an anti-depressant. Bonus!), and a couple of vitamin supplements. I'm taking a supplement called CoQ10 which is supposed to help prevent any heart problems potentially caused by the chemo.
I have been working 4 days a week, and I'm bumping it up to 5 days a week this week to see how it goes. I'll miss my long weekends.... but we're going into the holiday season now, anyway, so there will be some extra time off coming up.
To celebrate my birthday I went out yesterday (after they cut me loose from jury duty for the day....) and bought a ton of new clothes. It's funny how short hair and new foobs can make your old wardrobe look.... well.... not quite right.
I've also made a big change in my life by taking a commuter van to work, instead of driving 35 miles each way by myself. This has reduced my fatigue considerably. I can nap in the van, or proof-read work, listen to music. I'm traveling with a group of really nice people, and I get to work early enough in the morning to go to the gym! So I'm back to working out, and I feel really good. My range of motion is almost as good as it was before - I just can't do a backbend yet. The ports from my adjustable implants seem to be interfering, so hopefully that will improve when the ports are gone.
I am going back for phase 2 of reconstruction on November 8th. They will remove the saline implants and ports and replace them with silicone implants. All reports are that this should be a short, 1 1/2 hour day surgery, and I should be back to work after the weekend. Fingers crossed. The final two steps of reconstruction will take place next year sometime, and they are office procedures, so God-willing this will be my last surgery for a long, long time. (For those of you keeping track, this is #5).
I've made a lot of progress. I feel mostly like my old self, although I'd say pieces of my old self may be gone forever, replaced by newer, stronger pieces. And not just in the physical sense.
In case none of you noticed, I went the entire month of September with nary a doctor appointment! That was the first month since last November (maybe longer) that I haven't had to go to a doctor (or several). The fun is over, though, as I head to the oncologist next Wednesday for my 3 month check-up. I will be monitored closely (every three months, more often if I have any weird symptoms) for at least a few years. If I had anything to mammogram, I'd have to go in for that every six months, so I say good riddance. It's hard to believe it's been three months since my last chemo. Fifteen weeks, to be exact.
I still miss my hair, although people are LOVING my super-short do I have right now. I can't imagine I'll ever have it long again.... but it's hard to say. I'll enjoy experimenting with some short cuts once I have enough to actually cut...If we ever get some decent pics I'll post one. All the photos of me from the party were AWFUL.
I'm off most of the drugs I've been taking. I no longer rely on Ambien to sleep, Ativan (prescribed as a muscle relaxant, but also great for anxiety and sleep), or Tylenol PM (my favorite fall-back). I am going to sleep at night sans drugs, and it feels great. So for now I am on the anti-cancer drug Tamoxifen, Effexor (to ward off hot flashes caused by Tamoxifen - and it's also an anti-depressant. Bonus!), and a couple of vitamin supplements. I'm taking a supplement called CoQ10 which is supposed to help prevent any heart problems potentially caused by the chemo.
I have been working 4 days a week, and I'm bumping it up to 5 days a week this week to see how it goes. I'll miss my long weekends.... but we're going into the holiday season now, anyway, so there will be some extra time off coming up.
To celebrate my birthday I went out yesterday (after they cut me loose from jury duty for the day....) and bought a ton of new clothes. It's funny how short hair and new foobs can make your old wardrobe look.... well.... not quite right.
I've also made a big change in my life by taking a commuter van to work, instead of driving 35 miles each way by myself. This has reduced my fatigue considerably. I can nap in the van, or proof-read work, listen to music. I'm traveling with a group of really nice people, and I get to work early enough in the morning to go to the gym! So I'm back to working out, and I feel really good. My range of motion is almost as good as it was before - I just can't do a backbend yet. The ports from my adjustable implants seem to be interfering, so hopefully that will improve when the ports are gone.
I am going back for phase 2 of reconstruction on November 8th. They will remove the saline implants and ports and replace them with silicone implants. All reports are that this should be a short, 1 1/2 hour day surgery, and I should be back to work after the weekend. Fingers crossed. The final two steps of reconstruction will take place next year sometime, and they are office procedures, so God-willing this will be my last surgery for a long, long time. (For those of you keeping track, this is #5).
I've made a lot of progress. I feel mostly like my old self, although I'd say pieces of my old self may be gone forever, replaced by newer, stronger pieces. And not just in the physical sense.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
