The End?

I made a giant leap in my personal emotional healing from all this cancer crap: I deleted all my links to all things cancer-related on both of my computers. This may not seem like a big deal..... but having all those links in my Favorites just made me feel like cancer was defining my life - still. I don't want that.

So ending this blog is the next logical step. I started this blog because I didn't have the time or energy to keep everyone up-to-date on how I was. It also was kind of cathartic for me to just put all the ugly facts out there so I didn't have to carry them around with me all the time. Timelines, statistics, surgery dates, more surgery dates, chemo side-effects.... by putting it here in writing - once - I felt I was unloading it all without constantly reliving it.

But now...... I don't need to do it, and I don't think you need to read it.

This does not mean I don't want individual, personal relationships with people. I do, and I actually feel this blog may be getting in the way.

To my friends who I have met because of cancer: I am not abandoning you. I still want to hear from you and know how you are. But I want to find out if our friendship is in spite of cancer, rather than because of it.

Thank you for all for helping me lighten the load by reading, and carrying the burden a little for me.

I'm going to leave this blog online, but please join me and my family for happy thoughts and pictures at our family blog. You can reach me at my Yahoo email address, if you have it, or at ruthdiane@gmail.com.

And in case you are wondering, I'm keeping the Danskos.

Jayme

Jayme is gone
Please pray for her family. Her death is untimely, brutal, and devastating.

Godspeed, Jayme.

Done?

I almost hate to jinx it.... but I think I'm "done" with reconstruction. What do I mean by "done"? If you are NOT squeamish and really want to know, click here. (WARNING: link takes you to foobie pics. Not mine!) I had my last meeting with the plastic surgeon today, after putting the final touches on the reconstruction two weeks ago....... and she said to come back in six months just to make sure the implants are hanging in there. (So to speak).

Otherwise, I alternate visits with my surgeon and oncologist every three months. They do some blood work, poke around a little, and (so far) send me on my merry way.

I don't have to have any scans or other tests unless I have symptoms or weird lab results.

Four more years of Tamoxifen.

So I guess I'm not really done. But at least I seem to be done with recon (finally).

200th Post

Well, here we are. I was pondering how to honor the "milestone" of 200 posts.

I actually considered shutting down the blog. I mean - is anybody still reading? I kinda feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes. But I am a little superstitious. If I keep the cancer blog open - cancer won't come back. As soon as I close the damn thing, I'll have a recurrence and have to start all over.

And where else am I going to post the memorials to all the women who keep passing?

Where else can I stand on my soapbox and scream about the injustice of it all, and delete any responses I don't like?

So, instead of closing the blog, I went out and bought myself a new pair of Danskos. (I wear a size 38, by the way). I'll keep blathering on here.... and you check in when you get a chance.

Something you can do

It's another rough week at the YSC. Jayme has 40 brain tumors, and there doesn't seem to be anything they can do. Meanwhile, Danica has chemo-induced leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. She has three small children, Nathan's age and younger.

If you want to feel like you are DOING something, register to be a bone marrow donor. You could save Danica's life. Or someone else's.

They don't want my chemo-poisoned bone marrow...... so do it for me, because I can't.