20 Years and a Happy Birthday

20 years ago today I ........... graduated high school.

If my scanner worked I would scan a picture of me with big hair.

Also, my sister turned 7 that day. So that would make her... let's see.... carry the one.... 27 today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!!!!!!!!

Judgmental People

They piss me off.

Unless you are living under a rock, you've probably heard about all the natural disasters that are happening around the world. Particularly saddening for me was the earthquake in China. I haven't checked the latest number of dead, but it is enormous. Plus the missing. It is sad.

And I keep overhearing these stupid, stupid comments. Remember the mean woman from the cafeteria? She was blathering on to the cook about the earthquake right after it happened, and I caught bits and pieces of "well it's such a weird country, they can only have one child so it's all men over there." Another person said how it's "no wonder" they are having earthquakes, what with the rerouting of the Yangtze River. Huh???

CAN WE JUST PLEASE STOP WITH THE VICTIM-BLAMING? Nobody deserves this crap.

Do you think I'm being judgmental toward the judgmental people? Probably.

What Sustains You?

"I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away."

Inspired by The Invitation, my friend gary posed the following question:

I want to know what sustains you......

Folks...you have to have something that is all your own. it can't be a spouse,a job, or your children. It must be something beyond those things that can go away. What belongs to just you that will be in your pocket to keep you interested when everything else is gone and even when everything else is still here?

Can you be selfish enough to have something beyond a spouse, a profession, or your children that is important enough to you to never give up...because it's important to you?

I am very blessed that my hobby is my profession (photography) and I can always be involved in some fashion even if it's just looking at pictures in a book.

I really implore you all to think about this and take the time to find an interest if you don't have one. There are very few people who can't find some passion beyond the obvious things that they can have as their own forever.....when and if everything else falls away.

......

Don't wait...you can't tell the future any more than I can

So I ask you all: What sustains you?

I'm still trying to find that answer myself.

One Year Ago

Thought you all might get a kick out of seeing where the year has gone..... Click HERE.

Recent Pics

The pic of me with Anika was taken yesterday. (No, I've never been to the Moosehead Saloon). The one with Nathan was taken today - in the WIND at the Musk Ox farm. For those of you keeping score, this is my hair 11 months after the end of chemo. More pics on the other site soon.

Good news

I don't have a brain tumor.

Yeah, well I bet you didn't see THAT one coming.

I'm still having headaches, so since I had cancer, they want to scan the brain. My MRI came back "totally normal brain." Yeah. They don't know me very well.

I saw the pictures. It was all symmetrical and EVERYTHING.

No explanation for the headaches.

Stress. Motherhood. Not enough sleep. Tamoxifen. Probably Tamoxifen.

Boy oh boy, life after cancer is F-U-N.

P.S. I hear you all complaining about the lack of pictures on the tronnii2008 web site. Our new camera only downloads pics in zip files, which does me no damn good on blogger, and the memory card appears to be missing from the good camera.... so you'll just have to wait. Plus, lookng at the computer gives me a headache. And headaches lead to brain MRI's. You see the viscious circle here.

Kayla is in Surgery

I just got a text message that Kayla is having surgery this afternoon. I think it is to replace her port, and I am assuming it's nothing drastic. Her mom also asked us to pray for a 7 year old little boy named Angel, who is in the hospital with leukemia.

I think aside from the obvious stress, it must be very difficult to be in a "children's hospital" and see so many kids... so sick.

Amy needs you to CLICK

My buddy Amy (fellow survivor) can win a trip to Mexico if she wins this crazy contest.

She deserves it.

Please go to http://www.magic104.com/teacherfeaturevote.aspx and vote for "Mrs. Watkins." You can click repeatedly. Just go click until your finger gets tired. :)

Thanks.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

- Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Cinco de Mayo

Hola. Happy 5th of May. If spring means the snow is gone, but there are still no leaves on the trees, then we're there.

I went to a lecture on advanced legal writing on Friday. Sound like a big snore? It wasn't. It was really REALLY good. So good, in fact, that no reasonable person should have walked out of it feeling like a good writer. Unfortunately, it makes me want to start over on my latest project. But, since I'm on page 17.... I guess I'll just finish it and hope to do better next time.

Did you know you can start a sentence with "And" or "But," but you should NEVER start a sentence with "However"?

I hope the writing guy never reads my blog.